Society tends to embrace the norm, and this is especially true when it comes to physical attributes. For instance, society sees the lack of hair as unattractive. However, Bushra Rehman, in her poem “You Say You Miss My Hair,” defies this stereotype by crafting a motif of hair that emphasizes individuality rather than outward appearance. The speaker’s hair in the poem represents her identity and the confidence that stems from her personality. Using hair metaphorically, Rehman moves beyond the surface-level pleasure of appearance to reveal something more meaningful: the beauty of individuality.

Rehman uses hair as a motif representing a person's identity — something far more significant than a physical attribute. The poem’s title reveals that the speaker lacks hair, at least from society’s perspective. However, the narrator asks in a puzzled tone:

Don’t you see that now the entire night and the light are my hair

In these lines, Rehman establishes that hair is not a physical attribute of the speaker but a symbol of her identity. Therefore, society’s blindness toward something so profound surprises the narrator. While people perceive baldness as unattractive and thus “miss” the hair, Rehman conveys that nothing is lost. By making the narrator’s physical hair absent and introducing her figurative hair, Rehman shifts the attention from appearance to personality and shows that baldness does not change the narrator’s wholeness. She urges people to see how the “entire night and the light” are the speaker’s hair, or the aspects that showcase the narrator’s individuality (3-4). Through this motif, Rehman shows that self-esteem should stem from a person’s identity, and there is no shame in deviating from societal expectations.

Rehman crafts a narrative of the narrator’s identity through the descriptions of specific objects and places, which form the narrator’s metaphorical hair. For instance, the speaker says, “That the fences on delancey street, the old columns, the broken figures and statues, that now these are my hair” (5-8). She further expresses how “the newsstands, the mailboxes, the telephone lines” are “all getting caught up” in her hair (12-16). By referencing particular objects and locations, Rehman paints a vivid picture of where the speaker’s seeds of identity have dispersed. Each of these locations, including “all of brooklyn bridge” “the twin towers, that hot ink top of the empire state building, the water turning from blue to black, the tiny green point of the statue of liberty” have transformed into the narrator’s figurative hair (17-22). The distinct colors “hot pink” “blue” “black” “green” reinforce the vividness of the places that constitute the speaker’s identity (18-22). The places she has visited and lived in form part of her identity. Rehman has this river of locations flow into a stream that forms the narrator’s metaphorical hair, showing how a person’s individuality is a defining attribute, not physical hair.

Rehman also expresses her motif of hair through sensation in the poem. For instance, when the speaker says, “your soft hands on my head are my hair,” Rehman paints a gentle, warm picture that values emotions and meaningful connections (9). She further says how “all the streets / and what I feel for you / are my hair” and “See, if you touch me again / you’ll feel the whole world / run through your fingers” (23-28). By using words such as “soft” “feel” and “touch,” the poet highlights the significance of intimate relationships to the motif and how these connections allow society to not only visualize the speaker’s hair as “the entire night / and the light” but also feel “the whole world” (2-27). Rehman couples visualization with touch, so the river of locations that form the narrator’s metaphorical hair “run through your fingers” like water flowing through a faucet (28). Physical hair is tangible, but the way Rehman characterizes hair in the poem reveals a heartfelt sensation when the narrator’s hair is touched: it unearths emotions that enkindle warmth and love. Alongside the places of her childhood, the speaker’s identity encompasses meaningful relationships, allowing her hair to flow.

Rehman sends a compelling message to society about individuality through the hair motif in the poem “You Say You Miss My Hair.” Even in the narrator’s metaphorical hair, Rehman creates it to be visual and tangible, like physical hair. By doing so, she adeptly delves into how experience and emotions constitute a person’s identity, far surpassing the superficiality of physical beauty. In a society where women are expected to have beautiful physical hair and attractive features, Rehman’s bold poem encourages nonconformism and sends a reassuring reminder that a person’s identity outweighs outward appearance.

Works Cited

Rehman, Bushra. “You Say You Miss My Hair.” 2012. Bushra Rehman, Bushra Rehman, http://www.bushrarehman.com/2012/03/13/you-say-you-miss-my-hair/.